At Fenchel Family Law, we are never surprised to find out that ex-spouses often hold deep contempt and spite towards each other, even years later. In our expert opinion, this is especially lamentable in cases where there are children and custody arrangements at play, as the need to work with one another is inevitable.
Fact is, cooperating with your ex-spouse and sticking to an effective co-parenting plan is beneficial for everyone, including your child. It makes life simpler and easier for everyone, and can help instill a sense of security and safety in your child.
Unfortunately, toxic relationships between ex-spouses are a common affair in California, which inspired us to highlight a few tips to remember. We hope you and your loved ones make use of this advice as we head towards the holiday season!
Be Willing to Put Forth Effort
This sounds obvious, but think about it. Parents are willing to go to the moon and back for their children, so why is extending civility towards the other parent such an unreasonable request? The important thing to remember is that you are teammates in caring for your child, and if you are unwilling to put forth any effort on your end, progress of any kind is unlikely to occur. Remember to do what is best for your children above all else.
Give Each Other Plenty of Space
Before long, one of you two will move on and begin dating someone else. This is sure to stir up all sorts of negative emotions, which is why we highly recommend that you try and separate your personal feelings with your co-parenting efforts. Don’t ask more than you need to, remain civil and friendly. Don’t become too casual with one another unless you are sure it is safe ground to tread. The best thing to do is to ensure that you are pursuing your individual life and goals outside of this partnership.
Remember That Your Ex Is Still Your Child’s Parent
It might seem unfathomable, but your child likely loves the other parents just as much as he/she adores you. Are your actions contributing to an amicable partnership that reinforces good emotions, or are you hurting your child and his/her relationship with the other parent? We advise that you step back and take an honest look at your interactions with one another to answer this question.
We hope that these pointers are of use to you as the New Year fast approaches. To learn more, do not hesitate to reach out to us as Fenchel Family Law.