Tips for Celebrating Mother's Day After Divorce
Mother's Day can be a difficult time of year for many people, including divorced parents and children of divorce. While the day is meant to celebrate the person who gave you life and nurtured you throughout your childhood, post-divorce, Mother’s Day may also be a day that can remind you of the family you once had and the life that has been forever altered by divorce.
However, it is possible to celebrate Mother's Day after divorce in a way that honors both your children's mother and yourself. Here are some tips for doing just that:
Mother's Day can be emotionally charged, especially if you're still dealing with feelings of anger, resentment, or sadness related to your divorce. To help minimize these feelings, plan ahead. Decide what you will do on the day itself, whether it's spending time with your children or taking time for self-care.
It is important to note that co-parents should have a holiday parenting plan in place. In our previous blog, “The Importance of a Holiday Parenting Plan,” we discussed the benefits of creating such a plan, including preventing conflict and having an organized schedule. In planning ahead, you can review your holiday parenting plan to better inform your plans for the day.
Focus on Your Children
On Mother's Day, it is essential to prioritize the happiness and well-being of your children over anything else. Remember that it's not about you or your feelings, but about making the day special for your children and their mother. If your co-parent allows, encourage your kids to do something special for their Mom to create happy memories of the day.
If you are a mother who is unable to spend the day with your children, you can and should honor your feelings of frustration or sadness. However, don’t take out your frustrations or vent them to your child. Disparaging the other parent or placing blame on the other party can lead to them feeling like they must choose sides or feel isolated.
The first step in having a successful Mother's Day after divorce is to talk to your children about the meaning of the day and what they would like to do for you. This conversation allows them to express their feelings and thoughts, and it helps to prevent any misunderstandings that might cause hurt feelings during this sensitive time. You can encourage them to draw or write a card for you or spend the day doing an activity that you all enjoy.
You should also prioritize communication with your co-parent. When reviewing your parenting plan, consider the communication guidelines included (if any) concerning response times and etiquette.
Keep Things Light & Positive
It is vital to celebrate Mother's Day with an open and positive attitude, even if your relationship with your ex-partner is strained. Do not let past conflicts or resentments affect the day.
Instead, focus on creating a happy, upbeat atmosphere. Make the day fun by cooking or baking together, playing board games, watching a family movie, or attending a religious service.
One of the best tips for celebrating Mother's Day after divorce is to stay positive. Focus on all the good things in your life, and on the love you have for your children. If you can remain positive, the day will be more enjoyable for everyone involved.
Celebrate in Your Own Way (with New Traditions)
While is significant to celebrate Mother's Day with your children's mother, you also need to find ways to honor yourself. Do something that makes you happy and relaxed like going to the spa or taking a long hike. Alternatively, take this time to connect with your own mother, grandmother, or another special woman in your life.
While Mother’s Day this year (and in the years to come) may look a little different, you can enjoy the differences and make new traditions. These new traditions will help you move forward from the past and into the future as a strong and resilient family unit. A new holiday tradition can be as simple as cooking a special meal or watching a movie that you all love together.
Engage in Self-Care
While it is essential to care for your children's emotional needs, do not forget to take care of yourself. Mother's Day can be a triggering event for many women who have gone through divorce or suffered from maternal loss, and it is okay to acknowledge your emotions and seek support from a therapist or friend. Find ways to nurture yourself, like taking a walk in nature, reading a book, or engaging in other solo activities that bring you joy.
Experienced Family Law Attorneys
Divorce is never an easy time, and celebrations like Mother’s Day can make it even more challenging. But by following these tips, you can make it a day that honors the mothers in your life while also taking care of yourself and your own emotional well-being. Remember, this is just one day of the year, and taking it one step at a time will help you get through it with grace and ease.
If you would like to modify your holiday parenting arrangement or need help with other divorce or child custody matters, Fenchel Family Law PC is here and equipped to help. We can also help you with an initial child custody petition and discuss your questions and concerns about establishing a holiday parenting plan.
Call (415) 650-1112 to discuss your child custody, divorce, or family law matter with our experienced attorneys.