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Restraining orders are a powerful tool designed to protect people from abuse—but they can also be misunderstood, misused, or unfairly weaponized. If you’re wondering whether your situation justifies a restraining order—or you’re on the receiving end of one—you’re not alone.
At Fenchel Family Law, PC in San Francisco, we represent people on both sides of these difficult cases. Some of our clients are trying to stay safe from real danger, and others are defending themselves from false allegations. Either way, the stakes are high. Here’s what you need to know about how restraining orders work in California and when courts are likely to grant them.
Physical Abuse Is the Strongest Basis for a Restraining Order
Let’s start with the most straightforward scenario: physical abuse. If there’s evidence of hitting, shoving, or other violent contact, judges will likely grant at least a temporary restraining order—and in many cases, a permanent one as well.
In fact, our team has never seen a case involving credible physical abuse where a temporary restraining order wasn’t granted. These orders are taken very seriously in California family courts, especially when children are involved or there’s a history of repeated incidents.
If you’re in a situation like this, you do not need to suffer in silence. Even if you’re unsure how “serious” the abuse is, it’s worth consulting a lawyer who can help you evaluate the situation based on the facts.
Sexual Abuse Is Often Overlooked—But It Shouldn’t Be
One form of abuse that’s often misunderstood is sexual abuse within a marriage or partnership. Some people still believe outdated myths like “you can’t be raped by your spouse.” That’s simply not true under California law.
We’ve had cases where a restraining order was granted for acts like digital penetration without consent, even when there was no other physical violence involved. If something has happened to you that made you feel violated, confused, or scared—it’s not “just part of marriage.” It’s abuse, and it’s worth talking to a legal professional.
California judges treat sexual abuse allegations with serious concern. You don’t need to minimize what happened to you, and you don’t need to go through this alone.
Emotional Abuse and Harassment: More Complex, But Still Valid
Many people think emotional abuse or harassment won’t be “enough” for a restraining order. While it’s true that these cases are more nuanced, California courts have shown a willingness to act in the right circumstances.
Here are just a few examples we’ve encountered:
- A client received a restraining order after their ex bombarded them with emails and texts, despite repeated requests to stop.
- Another client had a restraining order issued when someone began showing up at their workplace and sending messages to their boss.
- We’ve also seen judges respond to cases where the abuse was less about threats and more about disturbing the person’s peace—a broad legal concept that covers a range of unwanted behaviors.
The key takeaway? If someone’s behavior is making you feel unsafe, anxious, or emotionally disturbed, you don’t need to wait for the situation to escalate further. There may already be grounds for protection.
Understanding “Disturbing the Peace” in California Law
One legal term that comes up frequently in these cases is “disturbing the peace.” But what does that actually mean?
In California family law, disturbing someone’s peace can include:
- Constant, unwanted communication
- Threats or harassment via email or text
- Showing up uninvited at your home or workplace
- Interfering with your personal or professional life
These behaviors don’t have to be violent to qualify for legal action. If your peace of mind is being disrupted, a restraining order may be appropriate.
Our team will review your specific situation and determine whether it matches any similar cases we’ve handled—or aligns with case law we’ve successfully cited in court.
What If You’re Not Sure You Have a Case?
A lot of people hesitate to reach out because they’re unsure if their situation “counts” as domestic violence or abuse. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to figure that out on your own.
The worst-case scenario if you come to us and we decide your case doesn’t rise to the legal standard? We simply don’t file and serve any paperwork. The other person doesn’t even need to know you considered filing and serving anything.
This low-risk approach gives you the chance to explore your legal options without escalating the situation unnecessarily. It also protects you from staying in a harmful environment out of uncertainty or fear.
Abuse Can Go Both Ways—And We Help Everyone
Domestic violence doesn’t always look like a man hitting a woman. We’ve handled plenty of cases where men were the victims of abuse by women—and they deserved protection just as much.
Whether you’re a man or a woman, our team will evaluate your situation without judgment. Our only goal is to understand the facts and help you determine whether legal protection is warranted.
Why It Matters to Talk to a Lawyer Early
Every restraining order case is unique. The details matter: What was said? When did it happen? How did it make you feel? Was there a witness? Was there documentation?
That’s why we urge people to talk to us early—before they make a move or respond emotionally to what’s happening. We can help you identify patterns, understand what evidence is needed, and craft a strategy that gives you the best chance of a favorable outcome.
If you’re defending against a false restraining order, you’ll need to stay calm and avoid any contact with the other party—even if they bait you. If you’re seeking protection, we’ll help you build the strongest possible case based on the evidence available.
Whether You Need a Restraining Order or Need to Fight One—We Can Help
At Fenchel Family Law, PC, we believe that everyone deserves a fair hearing and strong protection—whether you’re the one seeking safety or the one facing unfair accusations.
Restraining orders are serious legal tools, and California courts treat them with the gravity they deserve. If you’re dealing with harassment, abuse, or a toxic situation that’s affecting your well-being, don’t wait to get answers.
Talk to a team that’s handled cases like yours and knows how to navigate the nuances.
